Moon

I'll be honest.
Third year of university is off to a rocky start and right now, I feel like I'm almost toppling over.
I realize that I have the tendency to blog whenever I feel borderline depressed. This must explain why most famous writers were a bit cracked in the head. Only in your darkest moments can you produce amazing poetry. My blog is the proof of it. Just look at the posts from when I was young, happy and carefree. The way I wrote back then and currently shows a huge amount of difference.

I'm currently under Procrastination's control.
I just find it hard to study and it might be because of hormones... but I can't be certain.
I'm in this state and I can't find the reason why because there are just a million reasons that could be playing a role.
I'm lying.
I'm fairly certain it's hormones.
Why do women get PMS? Seriously. Not fair.

I woke up to my alarm ringing today so I snoozed it BUT IT DIDN'T stop. Glancing at my phone, I realized, Crap! Someone's calling me!

Getting a phone call is pretty much a big deal for me. Why? Cause I hardly get them. So getting one indicates some form of urgency. Most people prefer WhatsApp nowadays..which I like too, but because of how accessible everyone is through WhatsApp, it is so so so easy to spam. People treat it like it's Facebook or Twitter or something. Especially older relatives. Or group chats you don't really want to be part of.
I don't mind if it's coming from my family but when it's those texts that's one screen long and then ends with C&P - HMPH! yeah! Like I'll be reading that. Unlikely.

Back to my story, the caller texted me twice and told me to call her back. It's my clinic partner from last semester, N. I probably shouldn't refer to her in that way because we're friends but yeah, just fyi.
I rushed to the toilet to brush my teeth - I have terrible morning breath. You must be wondering, but you're calling through the phone!
Well. I don't know. I refuse to open my mouth in the mornings unless I've got it smelling all minty from my colgate. I won't even open it for Faheema when my mum brought her into my room early mornings before. Morning mouth is just so ugh.

I called N back.
N: Hey Khairun
K: What's wrong?
N: I was driving to uni but halfway through I realized I forgot my wallet! Can I borrow like five dollars from you? I need them for parking.

I realize that she was in deep shiz cause there's no way she's going to get free parking on campus. There's just no such thing. I know that much.

K: No problem. Where are you?
N: I'm just a couple minutes away from your place. Is there a drive in at your place?
K: Er..yeah. Just park in front of the first garage.
N: See you.

Well okay. If you guys have forgotten about the first part of the story, let me remind you. I JUST WOKE UP. It was half an hour to class and I just woke up. I groaned cause I accidentally overslept, which is pretty weird to be honest. I've been sleeping really early lately! I slept before 11pm this week but I wake up tired each time compared to when I slept around 12-1am. Isn't that insane?
Let me tell you men. This is what happens when your hormones just insist on screwing you over. You don't stand a chance. So don't whine when your girlfriends/sisters aren't in the mood - they didn't sign up for a rollercoaster ride. We got assigned a uterus.
Thanks.

OK so I was thinking - hmm how am I gonna pass the money, I'm still in my PJs.
I asked Aimi for help. Thankfully she was in her room, ready to go to uni. She probably didn't realize I slept in. She usually wakes me up when that happens. She knows N cause we're all speechies so I explained to her the situation and told her to give the money to N when she arrives.

K: This sucks. N's going to think I sleep a lot! She always finds me in the worst state ever.
A: hahaha

It's true though. N always manages to ask for me whenever I'm absent for class. Notices whenever I fall asleep during lectures. Or sees me crawling in the doors whenever I come late. These are rare occurences (once a week is rare enough!) but somehow somehow she's always there to witness my bad behaviours.
N and me... sigh. It sounds like some sort of drama but I feel like every meeting with her, I appear disheveled, out of control of my life and just freaking sleepy & lazy.

So this is how Aimi's conversation went with her today,
Aimi: Kron's scared that you'll think she likes to sleep. She accidentally overslept today.
N: Pfft. I already think like that since last year. No changing my mind now.

-______-

I texted her, saying, "I'll see her later," but as I was preparing for my class, I realized my body was just burning hot and that I had a headache. I sat down to calm down, had my breakfast and still I was not in perfectly good state. So I decided to rest today to hopefully recover.

As the lectures of the day ended, I received a text from N.

N: Did you even come to lectures today? LOL

If there's someone out there who has a pretty poor impression on me, it's probably going to be her. There's also another girl who thinks the same way - she's J. We used to sit together often but nowadays we don't anymore so she has this automatic assumption that I'm skipping lectures whenever she doesn't see me - which doesn't irritate me before but now it does cause I wake up at 5am everyday to prepare for a full week of 8am classes so I don't think I deserve that kind of shi* anymore but that's just me being righteous.

J: I haven't seen you around lately
K: Really?
J: Have you been skipping class again?
K: I haven't skipped any this semester!

J: Why didn't I see you yesterday?
K: I don't know
J: Why are you so lazy? Come to lecture!
K: But I was at lecture!!!

J: tsk tsk
K: WHAT NOW
J: Did you go...
K: YES yes YES I sat at the BACK

No joke guys. I really get exasperated.

My point is it's funny how impressions can be different depending on what circumstances you were in when you present yourself to a person.
Back at school, I was the goodie-two shoes smart nerd geek that does no wrong and commits no sin (LOL).
In uni though, for these people who care, I'm this sleepy girl who often dozes off in lectures, comes late or completely skip it. I'm a total badass in their eyes, guys.
And it isn't even true.
Pfft.
I know how accused people feel like now. But I'm not bitter or anything, I don't need to prove anything to these fellas.