I knew life was moving way too smoothly so a tragedy had to happen somewhere, on someone and it had to be done by me.
& so it did.
I broke his glasses.
I know how hard, how expensive, how difficult, how picky he is with his glasses.
I'm glad I didn't offer to pay it for him because when he did mention the price, I almost pooped out my guts. We can't even find it in Brunei for God's sake. He is gonna be blind for a few days (or months if he is gonna get a new one shipped) all because
I broke his !@#$%^& glasses!
I'm angry at myself too you know. I am. I feel depressed, guilty, praying that there's something I can contribute to the situation but there are just things that can't be fixed. I felt guilty saying sorry because even apologizing felt wrong. The apology merely emphasized how useless I am as a person more than anything.
We ate dinner in silence afterwards.
I don't even want to say a word to him. If I could disown myself as a sister, I would. This would be a great opportunity to do so.
I'll just keep my distance from him - not because I'm scared he is angry at me, I kinda deserve that - but more so that he can recollect himself & just hate me in his heart. I'll give him time for that until he recovers fully.
Sigh..really I haven't even been back long and now this!!!
He had been sooooooooooooo nice to me and I repay him with breaking the most expensive & important thing he needs & owns right now?!?!?!
As of this moment, I really don't deserve this family..
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