I just got home from my mechanics (math p4) exam.
My first thought was... I'm gonna study bio after this! But I came to express my frustrations. I HAVE TO DO THIS. I HAVE TO EXPRESS IT SOMEWHERE OR I AM GOING TO BREAK SOMETHING INTO PIECES
The paper was #$$%^%%GFADEFV ='C I did not finish it. It was so time consuming.. Half an hour passed so easily! THINKING how to do it occupies more time than actually doing it, but that's mechanics for you (or just me). Less working, more thinking.
I fancy mechanics, it challenges me and I love to be challenged but today was hopefully the last mechanics paper I will ever sit for however I am definitely not leaving a good impression for mechanics.
I could have done better if the time was extended but oh =X the past cannot be changed no more. I wouldn't change what I did just now though. I thought my answers through a clear head albeit I was shaken the moment I opened the paper.
There is something that freaks me out in mechanics but apparently I found out today that it is not that uncommon (Nadz experiences this as well). When you look at the paper, terus your kepala bercelaru because you are panicking regardless if its easy or hard, it is essential that you panic.
I am usually unnerved by mechanics that my hands physically shake -YES, for real. I have experienced this for almost all my AS level mechanics paper, including today. I know it shook during other papers too however the most memorable "shakes" (for lack of a better word) are during mechanics and.... aha! Practicals. Haha during practicals, it almost reaches the level of a tremor probably.
Nevertheless today I opened my paper with a clear head yet in the end I was shaking anyway. sobs
On the way home, this song played,
Pilu... pilu sepilu-pilunya...
Namun engkau tak peduli
Malu... semalu-malunya
Namun apa daya
Orang tak sudi
Mahu... semahu-mahunya
Namun apa daya
Pilu sungguh hati ku. I dedicate this song to mechanics.
I am still mad. Angry. Frustrated. My insides are burning to smash Cambridge.
I know what you're thinking, "Sekalinya..kan exam baru tah kan blogging." Erm hey I'm not addicted to blogging so that's okay and I just needed to channel my outburst. I have words sentences exclamation marks in my head right as well as censored words (yes, I censor them in my head) floating around my mind at this moment.
Besides, by sharing this, maybe someone out there will relate and feel less burdened. Yes, my dear friend who relates, yes, life is hard for me too.
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