no strong points

I'd like to be whisked away please to a place where I don't have to worry about a thing - maybe just for a moment. I created a calendar for myself today to put in the dates of my school exam and upcoming As exam. Basically, starting from the end of March until June I am fully booked for my exams. Honestly, four months straight! I  do hope I come out as a freaking genius at the end. Amin.
After creating the calendar, I (more than) kind of panicked because I saw how hectic everything was soon to become. I'm pretty sure right after June I'm going to have another school exam but that is yet to be revealed.
I can only sigh with patience as I will be extremely tested this year mainly because, well duh A levels, but another thing: two exams are to be taking place on my birthday. Math 4 and Bio 2. They're As exams too. I'm not sure how I am supposed to enjoy my 18th birthday but that's alright. I turn 18 only once and this will be a very memorable way for me to remember how I suffered through it...

EIGHTEEN - sounds so foreign on my lips and fingers as I type it too

I cannot even believe I am seventeen and now I'm already progressing to the next year! PAUSE LIFE DAMNIT PAUSE
Oh well, so far I had a good seventeen and I can't really regret any of that.

But I swear I am getting outdated. I never knew computers or basically any technology have progressed so far nowadays (well, I'm referring to expensive computers anyway) So modernized, so awesome.

I'm trying to improve my English really because I received criticism that my writing can be slightly really informal for general paper essays. I know I know - you may think, why do you care about general paper? Honestly, I do think general paper does show that you have intelligence...well with general knowledge, I guess. So I do take general paper seriously but not seriously enough that I study it. I just want to learn how to write amazing essays that people would read and think, "This person is damn smart."

It's so frustrating not having any type of advantage - not being real good in something. I am generally okay in all subjects, but what am I the best at? What do I have to offer the world other than my mediocre self? No eccentric hobbies, outstanding behaviours, excellent attitude... I'm just me and there's no "wow" factor. It frustrates me especially now that I am thinking about my future personal statement (which I should start preparing). What am I going to say?

I'm the kind of person who writes informally because formality is awkward and awkward is unnatural and natural is my kind of thing. Not to mention, I like obtaining knowledge so much that sometimes I don't do well in tests cause what I learn is so out of the topic or I try so hard to understand one part that I don't have time for the others. Exams and grades make me irritated because they're no proof of how useful you are in real life (extracted from personal experience). I'm just as useless as the next person who got all Ds in his/her PSR. 

Just a glimpse into my (honest) personal statement. haha


I freaking love this keyboard (Apple) and I want to type more tonight but it is getting late. I have some dreams to dream tonight. Farewell and take care, my non-existent readers. I wish I could share with you the joy of typing on this yummy keyboard.