am i really?!?!

CEO Hong Seung Sung of Cube Entertainment revealed, “They (Beast) will be releasing their official Japanese album in February and will be kicking off their activities soon. In the first half of 2011, they will be promoting in Southeast Asia alongside their Korean activities. We’re creating a system in order to turn Asian artists into world stars.”

OH and he forgot to mention, "we'll probably be skipping Brunei. Brunei doesn't really exist for us Korean Idols."
=______________= maybe i'm being cruel to my own country BUT! but seriously, when's the last time korean idols came to Brunei? They tour around "SEA" but ohoho skip a few countries along the way. don't bother mentioning Southeast Asia then! JUST SAY THE COUNTRIES!
then again...even if they come to brunei...i wouldnt be able to watch them :'( TEARSSSS.
if i do watch them (it's OK to dream), i'll watch it with fellow kpop fans from PJN. yeah! yeah yeah! haha. I only want Beast and SHINee. no other, no other.

I voted Beast and SHINee again for the Golden Disk Award. I feel like a traitor, they were next to each other...hahaha.

i had my class with Sir John Teo a few days ago and it felt like counselling.

Sir: you know, Nisa...
me: yeah.......
Sir: You should stop being stressed.
me: i'm not stressed. (i'm not allowed to say im stressed, abg Alan pantang tu if aku claim aku stress...)
sir: yes, you are! you know what you should do? "relax, enjoy, be free!"
me: that. is. so. CORNY.
sir: it's not corny! don't call me corny! It's true! You should loosen up!
me: OK OK, just teach me how to do this question already~
sir: NO! NO! LISTEN!
me: ugghhhhhhhh
sir: you have to RELAX
me: awu awu
sir: you could've done well if you relaxed. see? all your mistakes are because you were careless. you were careless because you were stressed.
me: *breathing deeply to contain myself*

THEN his random lectures continued...
and Miss Tan said so too. i'm "overstressed, trying to be the best".
seriously, EVERYTHING I DO IS WRONG. if i dont try my best, i'm considered "lazy, didn't try hard enough".
i know they're being nice.
i know.
ugh ashibal kuranikaaaaaaaaaaaaa i dont know what to doooooo or howww to act.

i was writing in my diary late last night and i found some interesting statement i made.
it's something along the lines of "i'm tired of expectations"

OH GOSH, how does someone become a global freakin leader? to know that millions are hoping the best from you? in Brunei's case, not millions...but still. I wonder if anybody goes up to them and say "you're stressed out".
well. "of course im stressed out! what do you think i should do when i have all this expectations to meet for my country?!"

poor poor leader. i think leaders deserve to be rich, with all those troubles they have to handle.

well, in my case, since im not yet officially allowed to "be rich", my medicine would be...
sooooo beeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaast <3


OH BY THE WAY, the year is almost over. 12/12 --> 1 year almost...done. wow.